Cancel Culture Podcast
The Cancel Culture Podcast, the pop culture podcast which discusses and reads out the funny stories you send in. This could be funny moments during sex, your dislikes in a women/man or just funny scenario's which has happened to you. We also discuss trending topics, current world new & social media news, sports news , relationship problems & other trending topics. We are a weekly running podcast with a new episode every Monday
Cancel Culture Podcast
Social Media has RUINED dating forever!
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What if social media is the silent saboteur of modern relationships? Join us as we explore this digital landscape with our special guest Kiara, a model and video vixen, who offers an insider's view on the music video industry and its impact on relationships. We unravel how liking photos and online interactions can ripple through trust and perception, challenging societal norms and shaping gender roles. Alongside Kiara is Sophia, who shares her single status and insights, adding a fresh perspective to the conversation.
The digital age has transformed temptation and self-discipline, providing more choices but also more challenges. We question the evolving definitions of cheating, as online visibility can sometimes intimidate partners or lead people astray. With differing views on social media boundaries, we emphasize the importance of communication and compromise to keep relationships harmonious. Is it realistic for women to expect certain reactions from men based on their online presence? These questions fuel a lively debate as we navigate the murky waters of trust and online behavior.
Beyond the digital realm, we tackle the emotional components of human connections. Men often face societal expectations to be stoic, yet we advocate for creating safe environments for emotional vulnerability. By challenging stereotypes and understanding diverse perspectives, our discussion shines a light on building genuine intimacy. The episode wraps up with humorous anecdotes and heartfelt reflections, as our guests share their final thoughts. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and journey with us into the modern maze of social media and relationships.
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Social Media, Relationships, and Dating
Speaker 1I thought I had someone and then he liked my friend's picture. The other day I said scrap that, what. What kind of benefit does it bring you as a man to like someone's picture?
Speaker 3You know social media people are very over-opinionated.
Speaker 4Our attention span is limited down to so low now, which then affects our relationships.
Speaker 3If you want to promote something, put on a bikini. I can't go and put on some Hugo Boss shorts and say I want to go promote a brand.
Speaker 1But there's this guy and he texts me every day saying day one, day two, day three, day four, I think he's on day four yeah, no, you have men in the DMs, the same men in the DMs for like six years straight.
Speaker 2You're a man and you're with a woman who's just a massive workaholic, so you might need to.
Speaker 4I think we live in a society where they push for feminine males, masculine females, independent women.
Speaker 3Basically, Beyonce done her job.
Speaker 1I'm not going to split up with you of a like, but I'm going to tell you more, but you did though what you talking about, girl, we did. I might have. I know you like that.
Speaker 3Welcome back to the Cancer Culture Podcast, where we talk about all the things in news and trending. I am here today with key kai, my dog, normally behind the scenes, but today is up front with me today I don't know what's going on, man.
Speaker 2I don't know what's going on, man. I don't know why I'm here like literally just popped up when I'm here, you know what it is.
Speaker 3I'll be honest, I prefer you here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I think I might sack the other guy you know, that I can't remember his name. The other guy? Yeah, the other guy.
Speaker 2He needs to go. He needs to go. Yeah, it's Kian. I am Kian James, if you want to know. But yeah, here just covering and hopefully you enjoy the show. So we have got our guests here and they're going to introduce themselves. As always, we're going to start from yourself Name, age and your status, please.
Speaker 5So my name's Kiara, I'm 22. And by status you mean relationship.
Speaker 2Relationship status.
Speaker 5I'm single Single. Just out of a situationship actually.
Speaker 2Just out of a situationship One sec, one sec she belongs to the street.
Speaker 3Okay, you know what's funny? He had to look for the button.
Speaker 2I was like wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 3Don't say nothing else, let me, just because I got to get the button.
Speaker 2Yeah, not usual programming, sorry, okay, okay, okay, okay. So what do you do yourself?
Speaker 5So I'm a model a video vixen there.
Speaker 3Um, okay, why are you lying? Wrong one, but it's five. They know what we mean yeah, yeah um, okay, yeah, video victim. So how is that?
Speaker 5yeah, it's good. I feel like a bad bitch all the time, oh okay she belongs to the street.
Speaker 3Yes, is the eyes ready now?
Speaker 2yes, he knows that wow, I feel like a bad bitch all the time. Tell me more. Tell me more. Why do you feel? Like a bad bitch all the time. Tell me more. Why do you feel like a bad bitch?
Speaker 5well, you know getting chosen to be in these music videos. You know you get to just stand there, look pretty, get paid for it you get chosen.
Speaker 3I didn't know it was a chosen thing.
Speaker 5Yeah, you like they send like different girls and then the guy will choose which girls they want.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay, so name your CV. What's the latest one you've done, if you can.
Speaker 5I can't, you can't.
Speaker 2Okay, it's not out yet what's the the one that you?
Speaker 5can then, I don't know if I can say you can't say is it out? If it's out, you can say no, but like some of the rappers, I don't know if like no if they'll say yeah or no to you.
Speaker 2If it's out already, you should be fine, though I don't know.
Speaker 5Okay, okay, okay, but I actually am.
Speaker 4I'm not chatting shit, I'm not capping, no no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1You know what's the matter. I think they want to hear like a big one or something.
Speaker 5Now, when you said that yeah, when you said oh, you get chosen.
Speaker 3You know the scene when Chris Tucker's picking, he opens up and in the massage parlor.
Speaker 2he's like yeah, I want you, yeah, you.
Speaker 3You with the braids there? That's what that sounded like to me, so this is what I thought. So y'all just turn up and then man them will just walk past in their ski masks. Yeah, and before they do, bear in mind, before they do this in a tune, they point at you and say, yeah, I want you up front. That's how it works. I'm just painting a picture. I don't know how this works.
Speaker 2I don't know how it works.
Speaker 5No, it's like online. They choose who they want beforehand. They give like a brief of like who they want Agency. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1So you can put forward basically, and then they, then they'll choose.
Speaker 3Why didn't you just say that I'm thinking you're doing some like some video vixen, tinder or something Like. Oh yeah manager swiping right and then like yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, she could be in the video still, yeah, or if she bad, still, let me put her in the video.
Speaker 2That's crazy. Alright, okay back again.
Speaker 3Oh gone, hello back again.
Speaker 1Yeah well, you should know by now what I do. No, I'm joking, we'll see.
Speaker 2We'll see what's your name, age and relationship status, please?
Speaker 1Sophia, I'm 22 and I am single still still damn, how's it going now? I feel like I'm in the trenches. I can't lie. I feel like I'm still digging for the trash, digging for your trash, still digging for your trash.
Speaker 3They're all trash.
Speaker 1All of them Honestly. It's so sad.
Speaker 3All hundred Fifty five thousand. No, I thought you know what?
Speaker 1I thought I had someone, and then he, he liked my friend's picture. The other day I said scrap that.
Speaker 2What For liking your friend's picture?
Speaker 1He knows we're friends.
Speaker 2That dog.
Speaker 1Just making conspicuous. You know you've got so many more girls to like pictures.
Speaker 2Yeah, but Was it a good picture, though I don't know. Was it worth a?
Speaker 1like I don't know. All of our pictures are worth a like to be fair. So there you go. Is that bad, though? Is it bad? Yeah, stay away from. But what if?
Speaker 3you just scroll and it was like whoop, whoop, like yeah.
Speaker 4Then take it off. Do you know what?
Speaker 1I mean, how did you she's had ample time to take a screenshot, send it me and the like was still there. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3Okay, that's what I was going to ask you. So you found out by her, screenshotting it and sending it to you.
Speaker 1She didn't screenshot, she just told me. But like okay, yeah she was she.
Speaker 3She couldn't wait to send that.
Speaker 2She couldn't wait yeah, I mean, that's kind of weird, like why would you just I've said it before.
Speaker 3Women turn into instantaneous and I know they may say, yeah, we're doing it in good intentions, but y'all know what you do. No, but all I must say, is composure like.
Speaker 1Do you get me? Why do you have the the necessity to be liking people's pictures? I just don't just look at it. I mean'm not going to know what you're doing, but why do you have to make it like? Do you know what I mean? It's social.
Speaker 3I don't care, it's social. That's what you do. You go on the social. I do not care.
Speaker 5It takes more time to like a picture than it does to just ignore it Just, but anyways, moving on.
Speaker 3No, yeah, we'll come back. We're definitely going to spin back, but we'll leave it at that she belongs to the street. He's still there, yeah definitely, and back again, back again, back again. Got your.
Speaker 4T-shirt.
Speaker 3Swinging back round for another one, Obviously obviously I love it.
Speaker 4Tell us what you do, what you do for a living.
Speaker 3So everything, everything, you know.
Speaker 4okay, I'm inks um, I'm an artist, I'm a rapper, battle rapper. I also do photography and acting as well, and singing. So, yeah, yeah, man, so you're not just a triple threat.
Speaker 3You're like a quadruple threat how many how many threats is that? Gosh, damn, count them you're. That's why they're scared of you. That's why people be running, running. That's why people be. Let me look at it. Make sure you zoom in on me when I say that's why people be running, be running. Huh, you know who you are, okay? Okay, just in case people don't know battle rap, shut down. Yeah, what's going on?
Speaker 4man, give us updates so I did my first battle with Kusha on Pengame. I was meant to have another battle on sunday with prinley the geezer, but she didn't show up. Um she, she ran, she didn't. You know. I'm saying she called me a racist because I called her a uk beast and said she's not battling me because I'm a racist. And I said well, if I'm such a racist, come convince the crowd. I'm a racist. You got three rounds. It was given unprepared. I'll be so real.
Speaker 3Um, so yeah so the battle ain't happening so basically, you wasn't ready. Basically now, I ain't taking sides. I ain't taking sides. Why are you lying for yeah?
Speaker 2one more time why, why why?
Speaker 3are you lying?
Speaker 2for you get a good free for it because you should be turned up. Still, you know you should turn. Yeah, you had the opportunity to say what you need to say I'm hearing you running and that I'm hearing you running.
Speaker 3I saw the vid too. You was running, he was running, you was running.
Speaker 2It's giving running vibes.
Speaker 3Switch it up, come back, show them. Show them, don't be running. Show them, eddie. Y'all's ready blood life it's a normal thing, but yeah, let's tell them, let's tell them what we got today. So today today, today, today so I have.
Speaker 2You have read that I've got orders, I hope you've got.
Speaker 3You got orders from up top orders from up top. Okay, orders from up top right. So, um, there is order to clean up because listen, if I speak right.
Speaker 2so the first topic that I have for you guys today is going to be does social media have an effect on your love life? Yo Finding love.
Speaker 4You should answer that one girl, literally.
Speaker 2So since you were already talking about it, we might as well get stuck into it, Right stuck in. Does it?
Speaker 1affect your love life Really 100% Okay, so why right stocking? Does it affect your love life really? 100 okay, so why 155? Because, first of all, you, you're giving a man more means to cheat. That's, that's one of the reasons.
Social Media and Temptation in Relationships
Speaker 1or a woman, but okay, okay, okay, yeah um, I'm gonna keep it, whatever, I'm gonna keep it. You know, equal, okay. Um, obviously we've all got the whole thing like, especially you'll know that, being a video vixen, there's that like, um, having a platform. Men don't like that for some reason. I feel like they find it intimidating, but they usually find some sort of other excuse. Do you get? I mean to not like the fact that you, you're in the public eye, whatever, there's that. But yeah, I'd say mainly that, um, and then, kind of like, having your option, like it kind of gives you more options, more options more quickly, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1So like, let's say, anything goes wrong, like back in the day you had to sort it out, whatever. These days, of course, you can sort it out, but then you might be more willing to exercise options because of social media. It's almost like a display. Do you know what I mean? You're scrolling through Insta, whatever, you're watching the stories and you're thinking, actually he wasn't that bad and my man's giving me shit. Do you know what I mean? So, actually, do you know what I mean? That kind of thing, like back in the day you didn't have that sort of thing. And obviously, again, social media, you can meet anyone so quickly, don't?
Speaker 3you think social media is about control? Yeah, don't you think it's more about so? I hear that there's a lot of options. You can do all this, you can do all that, but does it not reflect back on the person that is doing it? And I mean that from both sides the person that's looking, but the person that's also putting themselves out there to be looked at?
Speaker 1yeah, of course, but what like? Without the channel you can't do it, and it's almost like, at the end of the day, like the person's gotta work on themselves. So let's say, right, for example, take like there's no social media if someone wants to cheat, they'll really have to come out of their way. With social media like you're giving them a channel to, to to reflect that with the whole um no, I feel like you still gotta go out your way.
Speaker 3You definitely have to, you still have. I can't.
Speaker 1It's just a lot more available, like do you get me? I mean, it's a lot easier to just drop someone a DM or something Like a few pictures.
Speaker 4I think what I would say off what you said is, back in the day, we weren't displayed this much temptation or other options or lust, and then, with also all the different platforms, our attention span is limited down to so low now, which then affects our relationships, and I feel like you have all of this stuff online. It's not normal for us to be able to have access to to porn like that, to to you know, to soft porn, to all that sort of stuff online.
Speaker 5So I think it definitely does sorry um.
Speaker 4So I think it definitely does affect relationships. It is all down to the person and the self-control and the self-discipline, but again we're in a society that pushes us so far away from that which is why you don't.
Speaker 3We've always. It's not a new thing yeah like this is not brand new. We've had exposure to corn, we've had exposure to social media. We had, we had Like, we had the early stuff, we had MSN.
Speaker 1I think it's very different, but the skills are a lot bigger.
Speaker 2You didn't have a mobile device.
Speaker 3You had to log in into your family's computer to go in MySpace I mean, yeah, but the concept was still there. All right, it may have took me longer to holler at Shorty, but at the same time I could still holler on MySpace, even see what she was listening to on her music.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it's undeniable Like the access is a lot like more accessible.
Speaker 3I do get what you mean. Visually being able to see things and being able to just access people verbally may seem like two different things, I feel like for me it's one in the same. It's either you're going to be upset about it or you're not. You're either going to see as a a cheating, a cheating factor, or you're not. Now, as I say, cheating for a lot of people. For many years before we knew what social media and all these things was, was a physical act men would go to the next door neighbor all sorts, any sort of women, and the women would there flirt with the man.
Speaker 3And a woman would know that their husband's gone around to help the neighbor fix some stuff in their house and they know that they're a bit flirty, but they know their man.
Speaker 1They understood that yeah but with the whole, because I feel like a lot of again not trying to generalize, but a lot of men find it as like, oh, such a stupid little thing is just to like there's that now.
Speaker 3Cool, it is a stupid little thing, but you know that's going to make me feel like shen, that's going to make me kick off. So just don't do it. Do you know what I mean? Sorry, key, so we're supposed to just automatically be like we're never going on social media, and then are you gonna, you don't have to never go on social media once you are on social media, compose yourself.
Speaker 1That's all we are asking. You don't have to reply a fire emoji you don't physically have to like. Why? Where's this urge coming from? That's what pisses me off all right, and I hear that, but it's like, really like bad urge for men to do these things that, oh, I've gotta send this fire emoji, otherwise like I'm gonna die or something. Do you get me?
Speaker 3okay, if I don't do it, you're gonna get a really nice clip there On the other front. Then why do women then feel like they can just expose themselves happily on social media without then men feeling like say they can see that and give some attention to that?
Speaker 1Yeah, but that's Knowing how the male ego is, I feel like it's a little bit deeper, because more time, of course, male attention is going to be there and you know that I'm not going to sit and lie and say, but it is, it does come from like a deeper thing, because that kind of goes back to your self-esteem. This is that, and more time you're not only doing it for the men, you're doing it for the girl that you don't like. You're doing it maybe we do it for work, we do it for exposure, we do it for multiple things. So, okay, a lot of them are going to be a self-validation thing and an attention thing. She is a rapper, so obviously she needs exposure, let's say, and more time. You know you might not want to do it, choose not to, but you know, if you post a bikini picture, more people are going to like that rapping video and that's going to get you more booking.
Speaker 3So at the end, of the day I don't think, but we are very strategic.
Speaker 4Like I said, you might choose not to go on I'd like to say, um, so a while ago. So I, I do pole dancing. Yeah, so I have a pole in my front room and years ago I would post no, no, no no because, I do for fitness, you know and so I would post um, like my fitness videos. Yeah, and obviously I would post them because I'm feeling proud of my progress and because I'm getting fitter, but the attention would come in and it's always the weird comments.
Speaker 1And men see it as like she's an attention seeker.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 4But it came to the point where me I looked at myself as a woman and I was, like, do I continue putting these out, even though I know what I'm posting it for? I'm still getting all this attention that I don't want and I don't like. Yeah, that's not what I'm after, um, and so I don't post them anymore. You know, I haven't posted them, um, for a good couple years and I feel like, as a woman, we have to decide whether the attention is coming. You're either going to open yourself to that sort of attention and comments or you're going to block yourself from it, and you know it's still something that I have conviction with, um, and that I'm still trying to get. You know, there's certain songs that I've decided I'm not going to make a music video to, because the lyrics were something that I wrote a while back and they might have a bit more lust in them, and I actually don't want to have a video to represent that anymore.
Speaker 4I feel like we, as ourselves, have to decide whether, you know, we allow ourselves to you know that attention, you know if you're turning the tap off or if you know I feel like women know they have the control of that and they choose you're right when you said, like we are calculated, we know when you want to, so I feel like exactly the same way you feel you choose when you want to be upset about something, because it's okay when men are liking your photos and giving you all this attention, but then, as soon as then, it's a man that you're in touch with and he's doing the exact same thing that other men have been doing for years on your own social media, it becomes a problem hence why
Speaker 5I say it's a, it is a choice, but I want to know how you feel no, I I had like fights with my ex-man about this because obviously, with doing the work that I do, I I get brand deals and stuff, underwear shoots and stuff that I have to post because I have to give credit, and he always used to kick off to me because he'd say that I'm seeking attention. I was like no, I'm literally just crediting the photographer. I feel good about myself.
Navigating Social Media Boundaries in Relationships
Speaker 4You say have to, and this isn't a disrespectful thing, but we choose to do that. It's not a have to thing, we choose to take the deal and to do that. That's the point.
Speaker 3That's where men get to that point where it's like, okay, then we accept it now. But then it's like, well, we're just going to look at everything that's there, because it's hard not to look.
Speaker 2And that's the thing. You know what I?
Speaker 3mean it's very hard for it, what do?
Speaker 1you have to act like as well, Not just look. You've got to DM her and you've got to like her picture.
Speaker 2I'm not even no, no, no, because you've got eyes on your face.
Speaker 1And you know what, if you find someone attractive, you only him, and it's fine. So you know a path where it's like the fact that you gotta desperately act on this is crazy.
Speaker 3A little psycho.
Speaker 1A little bit, a little bit, but that's the Eastern European in me. I can't help it.
Speaker 3Yeah, I detected, I detected so.
Speaker 2With all that then, yeah, you need to understand. Liking a picture, I don't think is all that bad.
Speaker 5I so disagree.
Speaker 2No, I don't think it's all that bad, I do have to say.
Speaker 4I think it's each of their own and I feel like you've got to have a conversation, because if it's something that really affects somebody, if the partner respects you, they just simply won't do it, if it really affects them, but you've got to have that conversation and see what you're both comfortable with I agree.
Speaker 3I feel like the conversation has to be 100. I have a word on social media or not. That's it. That is the only conversation that needs to happen. How?
Speaker 1does that correlate, though it's different?
Speaker 2no it does.
Speaker 1It does because one thing your social media presence, your pictures. At the end of the day, like you work for this, you get these deals and if you don't, you pay for the shoots.
Speaker 1You don't make it you actually invest so much again, you can choose not to, that's fine. You might want to be low-key on social media, or you might want to approach it differently. That's fine. But at the end of the day that takes some sort of work. Do you get me liking a picture or not liking a picture? How are you? How are we comparing if?
Speaker 3you're. If you're in a relationship with somebody and you know that you're going to be insecure about a man liking a picture of another female, regardless of who she is. The fact is you know that the other female may or may not be a good looking female and you feel like that challenges your female. So, that's the only time when women then get their back up. Because I tell you right now, if you do not feel like say that woman is anywhere near your aesthetics, then you are not having a problem.
Speaker 1No, I would just say that it's a principle thing, it's not an insecurity thing.
Speaker 4I would say it's like when you are in a relationship with a man or a man is in a relationship with a woman, you both represent each other, whatever you do, and it's not necessarily about having to be low-key on social media.
Speaker 4it's just how you present yourself, because when you're presenting yourself, you are representing the other half as well. So if your other half is happy with you presenting yourself as a big in a way, you know, in a way that you post lots of photos or anything, that's fine if you're both okay with representing that. But if you're both not okay with representing that, then you both have to come to an agreement.
Speaker 3You just don't have socials. No, because this is what I'm saying you don't have to not have socials why, can you not just turn down the measure?
Speaker 2I don't post bikini pictures, you don't like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1You both just got to like you don't have to say okay, either social media or no social media. We can agree on certain things and I'll be willing to compromise as well.
Speaker 3Because there's no middle ground. Why?
Speaker 1I would disagree.
Speaker 3No, let me tell you why. There's an act of middle ground At the moment. You've been playing middle ground because you've had social both of you have had socials and it's been fine. But the minute that it went over your happiness and what you was happy with, what you didn't really have boundaries, you didn't set the boundaries. So as soon as it went over your boundaries that nobody knew about, he should have, in your mind, should have already knew about those boundaries, but he didn't. So as soon as he's gone over that now you're upset about it but you know what it is.
Speaker 1I think, um, going back to the whole, like revealing pictures and whatever, if I had a man and he's telling me not to out of a, not an insecurity thing, but he's just thinking, listen, I know you're gonna get the wrong attention, I'm not quite happy with that. I just rather you not. And it's coming from like you know, sincere, like whatever. I'd be willing to compromise that and it's fine. But with the whole liking thing, I shouldn't even be asking for it. Like it's different, because again, you might do things. If you are used to posting pictures like that, since probably the age of 15, legal or not legal, but you are posting bikini pictures every time you go on holiday, you're doing all these things. At the end of the day, it also kind of becomes a habit thing. You go to a place, you look good, you take a picture, boom, you post it. Do you get my attention or not? You do it.
Speaker 1So it might have to take him telling no, but it might have to take him giving a heads up and I might have not even thought of it because for years and years and years I've been getting all these weirdos up in my DMs, so I'm just used to it. I'm not thinking you know what. Today I'm feeling a little bit down. Let me post a beginning picture and get some weirdos to hype me up Like that's not how it works.
Speaker 5I Actually that's the thing.
Speaker 3It's so hard to explain that we don't do it. For attention, I hear you, you're never going to. Sometimes you might, but more times you may not.
Speaker 2Say that you're going to do it for attention, but you know what the?
Speaker 3outcome's going to be. You know exactly what the outcome's going to be if you post a bikini picture. Just like you said if you want to promote something, you want to promote a brand because, yeah, they ain't going to care. Maybe a few of my followers are going to like it.
Speaker 1But other than that no one's going to really care. It's not going to blow up.
Speaker 3It doesn't work like that for both of us.
Speaker 1Do you think 38-year-old Johnny, my DMs actually gasses me up, do you all? The thing that I'm going to say is men will be the ones who will actively entertain this. So, for example, you're single, you post a bikini picture. This guy, nightclub promoter, or someone else that you you deem as like, oh, he's a cool guy, whatever. Whatever he likes your picture, he replies to your story, whatever, so on and so forth. Men this men that complain about their girlfriends having social media are the same ones that have been wild single, entertaining all of these pictures. So, at the end of the day, I'm thinking so which one is it?
Speaker 1Because when, when we were both single, you was loving my pictures, oh, you was replying to every single one of my stories. You was liking these pictures. You were sending me my pictures into my dm saying now you look, fire, I love that. Have you got more pictures of that shoot? Now we're together. All of a sudden, you want to lock in and you hate these pictures. Now you're disrespecting yourself. All of a sudden, the narrative is different. It's because it does it changes.
Speaker 3It goes from chasing the pussy to now the pussy is mine. Oh, now you've got the pussy. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Do you get what I mean?
Speaker 1Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4That's it.
Speaker 2Keep it, keep it, keep it 100.
Speaker 1So you know, a nice maxi dress or whatever my show off the figure, she looks good. Do you know I mean? But no, because not. Oftentimes, when they go on your profile and and like the pictures, they'll be the ones where you're wearing a bikini. You might look bum in a maxi dress, but they'll go and like the ones where you look semi-naked. Do you know I mean? And it's some facts do you know I mean? They'll find the one picture where you're the most naked and go and like it back in 2021 or some shit like have you ever had any of those issues?
Speaker 5me yeah, I just don't post things for attention so I post it because I feel good. I ignore my requests.
Speaker 3I literally don't message anyone so you posted a belt around your chest just because it felt good yeah, it was valentine's day.
Speaker 5I had a galine's. I felt like a bad bitch so I wanted to post about it and look good.
Speaker 3Galentine's. Yeah, Galentine's. Galentine's Can we have a consensus here. What's a Galentine's? Yeah, I need to know this For the man them that not know, because what it looks like for what it looks like to us, trying to get man them to look over there but not really give them any time of day. Now I'm not saying you're going to give them any time of day. It's a girl night out, obviously.
Speaker 4My Galentine's was just like buying my female friends like flowers.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2It was never like going out Like.
Speaker 4Galentine's was just like showing love to my best female friends.
Speaker 2That's what I thought. We never went well, we never went out, I just bought.
Speaker 3I've seen some crazy, some crazy. Yeah, I learned times Some wild I'm not saying that On social media as well Is there yeah?
Speaker 2So like if my girl went out there with like a belt, I'd be like yo, but again like.
Speaker 5I was single.
Speaker 3Then, though, unless it's around her waist and it's a black belt if it's on her titties, no, it's going to be a problem. It wasn't really on her titties, it was like on the nipple.
Speaker 5Let's be honest.
Speaker 3Let's be honest there wasn't much through the imagination there. So that would obviously cause a lot of problems. And the reason why I say that is because obviously you're single at the moment. But does that, now you know, does it put men off from taking you seriously?
Speaker 5I don't know, because I don't really date. I keep myself to myself. Oh, apart from my little situationship that was just a bit of a blip, ah, okay.
Speaker 2But Ah, thank you, Gotcha bitch.
Speaker 3You gotcha. It's always a situation. Yeah, you gotcha you gotcha.
Speaker 5So you're in a situation ship because he's not really all there, not really taking you seriously.
Speaker 3No, he said that he'd just come out of a relationship he didn't want a serious relationship. That old chestnut. What are you lying for that?
Speaker 2old chestnut, so he didn't just come out of a relationship. What he's saying is he just wants to fuck he just wants that thing.
Speaker 3Well, that's why I burned it off.
Speaker 2Oh okay, that makes sense so at least you, at least you recognize that and you know that you need to stay away from that yeah, 100 but have you gone back since?
Speaker 5no, I haven't.
Speaker 2I'm in my healing year okay, okay, how long you been healing for like a month okay, feels great, okay. Okay, how long are you gonna stay in the healing?
Speaker 3I'm celibate now aha yes, that old chestnut okay, celibacy, that old chestnut so do you feel like that obviously had an adverse effect? Obviously, the photos that you made post.
Speaker 5He was just insecure. Though he was insecure, you gotta be so insecure.
Speaker 3But this is sometimes. I feel like it's a very frown word. Okay, I say women are insecure. Bear with me because. Because you will get upset about something that you will happily not only feed but also do yourselves. Because you will see a nice looking man online and like that picture and not think two shits about it. Because you can, you're a woman they want you, it doesn't.
Speaker 3It's not the other way around. That's that's the way the world works. But then I feel like women then get threatened about it because they know that men want sex. They need sex and you see the women around as the easy target. It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 1No, I feel like there's two things about what you've said, because think about you saying this, but then more time. I don't think it's the case with yourself, but a lot of this podcast that I've been on. They say in all sorts about the girls and then the man's profile picture is literally him in Ibiza topless. And then you scroll down and it's him in a beach topless. And then you scroll down and it's him in Jamaica topless, and then you do, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1And then my man happens to be a model as well and he's actually posting in some sea case topless. And that's fine, because I don't feel in any way. I just think you know what my man's length, but for him he knows how men are and he knows how pushy men are going to be, so that's why he might not be insecure, but he might feel threatened in some way or he might just be like I just don't want my girl to have this sort of attention. But more time and again I'm not going to say everyone as a girl you wouldn't mind your man posting nice pictures, topless or not topless, revealing or not revealing yeah, but as a man, for me we do.
Speaker 1Yeah, but that's what I mean okay, that's fine, and I'm not saying we're the same, but you've just said like, oh, girls will do, but exactly it goes, it goes back to, it goes back to we not the same? Do you? I mean like, if my like is most likely to be more accidental than your like, like your like is more likely to be more intentional like do?
Social Media's Role in Dating Choices
Speaker 3you get me all right. What's wrong with just just accepting that you, that women, are aesthetically pleasing and they're gonna get likes regardless and men are gonna provide it. What's wrong? What is so? No, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1if you're single, why are?
Speaker 2you single.
Speaker 1My reasoning is you know I'm going to kick off of it, like whether it's stupid or not, so just don't do it. Do you know what I mean? It's like if I was doing a little thing that pisses you off, and it could be whatever, like let's say, for example come up with the stupidest thing, you don't like me wearing orange shoes. I'm going to make up a stupid analogy. And I pull up every day with orange shoes and you're telling me every day they look like shit and you don't wear them. Do you get what I mean? So it's kind of like you're doing something that you know makes your partner go nuts, so why are you doing it? Do you get what I?
Speaker 1mean I don't have to split up with you of a like, but I'm going to tell you, but you did though what you talking about, I might have but nah, if he's my boyfriend, if he's my man, if he's the love of my life and the father of my children, I'm not going to split up with him of a like. But did you communicate?
Speaker 4to him that you didn't like nah, so how could he ever have a?
Speaker 1chance to be the father of your kids if you don't tell him that this is a whole different situation if he was pause.
Speaker 2I am a mind reader, no wait no what okay, yeah, alright so you split up with a guy. I didn't split up with a guy okay you locked him off for something that he did not even know about. You didn't even say your intentions.
Speaker 1You know what I don't like you and I think I'm being mature, because I just can't be asked to explain that to someone else.
Speaker 4You've got to communicate or they have no idea. Hold on.
Speaker 1The issue was that it was your friend in it.
Speaker 3It was your friend.
Speaker 1That, oh, that makes it even worse, it's icky again why, I feel like yous have not even replied to the original question. What kind of benefit does it bring you as a man to like someone's picture?
Speaker 3Hold on, hold on, let's just get before you lose it. What were you going to say?
Speaker 5Well, if you see a guy in every girl's likes it's icky as fuck Like you think that's what I like if, like your gal, was to like every guy's picture because it gives accessible.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's giving communal yeah, but you're accessible by having your picture on instagram.
Speaker 1No, that's different, because she said, we're not accessible because we're not giving these people time of the day. You can like my pictures as much as you want. I'm still not going to reply to your text.
Speaker 4It's not about the reply, though. It's about the fact that they have that access to you viewing-wise yeah?
Speaker 2You're accessible Extremely accessible.
Speaker 1I'm visually accessible. I'm still not accessible as an individual.
Speaker 2No, you're accessible. That's it.
Speaker 3You're accessible.
Speaker 2That's it, you're accessible. There is no visually there's no social.
Speaker 1You know what, if you, if we swapped instagrams for a day, you'd really get what we mean like no, but I do get what you mean.
Speaker 4That's what I was trying to say earlier. When I would post certain things, I would get all of this attention. And it come to a point in my life where I was like I don't enjoy you might not be bothered by it. I didn't enjoy all of these, knowing that I've constantly got like men thinking about me in this way, or sending me these horrible things Objectified, whatever.
Speaker 4I actually didn't like it, so I had to come to a point where I decided not to post myself like that, and I do completely understand what you're saying about a man in every woman's likes is icky. It is off-putting when you see the same man's name under every woman's picture. It's why if, like I said, if you're with someone, you've got to represent each of it in a way both ends that is respectful and you're both happy with I think the thing is here who controls sex?
Speaker 5women who control sex oh, um, yeah who controls accessibility to sex yeah, 100 there you go huh, huh, maybe, huh, huh, maybe a little okay y'all run the roost when it comes to sex.
Speaker 3So who then has the choice when it comes to picking people on social media? So, even as you just said, guy, everyone's likes, you know, I mean everyone's dm, dm. Sorry on everyone's insta. Bear likes on there. Yeah, he's everyone's likes, you know, I mean everyone's DM, dm. Sorry on everyone's Insta. Bare likes on there. Yeah, he's on everyone's. You see his name everywhere. I get it. But Do you think that guy's getting pum pum?
Speaker 5But why'd you put?
Speaker 2yourself forward and for the woman to choose you.
Speaker 3Do you think that guy is getting pum pum? Yes or no?
Speaker 1He is probably, unfortunately, Okay. Do you think A lot of this goes for? Let me ask another question Do you think he's getting the pum?
Speaker 3pum that he's actually wanting All those likes and the work he's putting in on these pretty girls, it depends on the guy.
Speaker 1you know, no lie, I'm not even being funny. Depends on the guy. If it's one of those little losers, then no. But if it's like a you know, good looking guy, she's trying to go around the tracks. Accusations. I'm just not giving you the answer that you want to hear.
Speaker 3It's fine, you don't have to, it's fine.
Speaker 1We can do a majority.
Speaker 3But it is factual though, and safe.
Speaker 1He might get, might not be the case with you.
Speaker 3I'm not gonna say that he's not getting a pum pum. I'm not saying he's not getting the pleasure that he actually wants, because he's in everyone's DMs and the people that he wants to talk to he's not satisfied, obviously yeah, ain't coming back. As a woman, you get to choose that person, literally it's not a thing sitting there and trying to like anyone's.
Speaker 3You don't need to do that. You really do not need to put in any work. You don't. All you need to do is just post a picture. As you know now, post a picture every now and again. Now that picture may get seen in a year's time, you will still get a reaction. In two years time you will still get a reaction for that photo and you still get to pick and choose who out of those 50 000 people that's dm'd you or who you'll give attention to, every one of them is calling him free attention For a man they're all those people starving for it.
Speaker 1That's fine. So why, ask my boyfriend, are you putting yourself out there to be chosen by liking, by DMing, by sending fire emojis?
Speaker 3Well, you didn't say all of that.
Speaker 2You didn't say it. You said he liked.
Speaker 1Okay, even just a like. Do you know what I mean? You say okay, so what if he's liking?
Speaker 4There's a difference.
Speaker 1Okay, cool, let's take it back to like. So he's liked three pictures in a row, right for a girl. Obviously, we know what kind of message that gives, and now she's texted him. So what now?
Speaker 3For us old folk? What does the message of Elaborate? What does it mean?
Speaker 1Okay so you're telling me right. Something that no one's ever done like is you don't want to shoot your shot, you don't want to actually DM someone. So you go on their profile. You like three pictures in a row, or like you might like a couple. Do you get what I mean? Trying?
Speaker 4to grab their attention.
Speaker 2Yeah let's be, don't act a thing. Either that or like in a story we all know ask.
Speaker 1Chad GBT. Literally let's see what Chad GBT said no, but, but does it work? Of course of course, if the guy is attractive what I'll do, of course listen, what I'll do is if a guy who's attractive and he likes three of my pictures, I'll go back to his profile and like three his, until one of them, one of us, decides to message and it won't be me.
Speaker 3So is this social media like Social media? Wow yeah, like the Tinder of social media, and can we all agree, please, so I don't sound like a lunatic.
Speaker 4Do you? I do do that as well.
Speaker 3It is, it's a free thing, it's a free.
Speaker 4It's like a yeah.
Speaker 1You know you don't want to go, manic and go I was going to say so what?
Speaker 3all right, then what-.
Speaker 1Maybe just one sometimes.
Speaker 3One like 2021. That's crazy. What's meaty Like? When does it get creepy?
Speaker 1All the free is creepy and too much back and forth is creepy.
Speaker 5I always get people like spamming me, like liking every single picture. I think just go away, I beg. That's crazy.
Speaker 2Yeah, let go. No, you honestly feel like go away. You're like yeah, you better know it's annoying the notifications.
Speaker 5I'm trying to watch something I've got notifications.
Speaker 3Like you couldn't mute the notifications.
Speaker 5Why do I have to do that?
Speaker 3you got one problem if it's no you're not a problem you've got a guy out there that's dying for your attention and he doesn't even realize that you have, he's absolutely annoyed. He's absolutely. You've just.
Speaker 1I've got an amazing one. He's just annoying you. He doesn't realize what are you showing?
Speaker 2What are you showing Go?
Speaker 1ahead. Oh, I can't, because I've got no internet. But there's this guy and he texts me every day saying day one, day two, day three, day four, no you have men in the DMs, the same men in the DMs for like six years straight.
Speaker 3Like it's crazy.
Speaker 1Oh, I wish I could show it, but it's so funny. Wait, sorry, it's like day 51. Hold on, hold on. So, before we, meet.
Speaker 3Sorry, I just got six years straight.
Speaker 4No, I'm being so for real Doing what. Just doing what Like, just sending like, honestly, you get some guys no, no, I'm getting on. You get some guys that are just like persistent, like as persistent like replies, and you get some guys that are like dedicated, that will send you like paragraphs of like how beautiful and how much they love you, like for ages, and you never respond. And years and years and years, and they still be there.
Speaker 2So they shooting their shot, shot Like it's crazy.
Speaker 3You know what it is. It's hard out here.
Speaker 2Yeah, listen, it's hard out here.
Approaching and Dating in Modern Times
Speaker 3I ain't going to put no brother down, I'm just trying to shoot your shot. You know what? He sent you a sonnet. He sent you a nice sonnet full of paragraph of words and lovely words. I mean, I don, man. Let's move on to how is a man supposed to approach women today? How do we do this now? Because, as you say, we can't write a paragraph yeah, well, I don't do.
Speaker 2DMs can't, like, can't like anymore, we can't do?
Speaker 3we can't do more than seven likes. I have to meet you in person straight up.
Speaker 4I don't like social, I don't like meeting people.
Speaker 3But then you've got women that think men are creeps for stalking you outside your house until you come out and say hello of course that's creepy do you get?
Speaker 4what.
Speaker 2I mean like what?
Speaker 5I like meeting people.
Speaker 4Like when I'm out talking to people, that's if I'm ever going to find my husband, I'm going to meet them in the flesh first. My husband is not in my DMs, like like yeah, like I don't have snapchat anymore it's been almost a year since snapchat because it's not a social media thing for you, no no, absolutely not and not happening no what about you?
Speaker 1you, you've definitely hooked up with brothers on social media I have and I feel like I think, yeah, everyone wants like a little love story. You know, when you just meet someone like I don't know somewhere, like cute and random, like I don't know, but, um, I think, yeah, I wouldn't do like dating apps, but if he dms me and then he has like escalates from there, then I feel like maybe in this day and age, I feel like you know what it is, because I work for my like I pretty much more time work by myself, um, whatever, basically I'm not in any social circles so it's hard for me like social media is probably the the better option, so why don't you put yourself out there to meet people outside?
Speaker 2so for me, like social media is probably the the better option, so why don't you put yourself out there and meet someone outside?
Speaker 1because I don't know, I feel like I've got because you put yourself out there on social media. I've got a really small social battery and I feel like I get pissed off very quickly like I don't know. I feel like I'm very cranky. I just didn't want her. Do you get what I mean? But are the DMs?
Speaker 4working for you, because this is what this is a situation I used to be in, like I did used to entertain DMs but I didn't like no one in the DMs. Yeah, because you need to be in the line, you've got to go for energy and connection right now, do you get what I mean?
Speaker 2when.
Speaker 1I'm in a position where you know or whatever, but as of right now, actually running club is really cool.
Speaker 4What the fuck is paddle. At least he'll be fit. Then if you meet him at running club, it's like tennis, but like a.
Speaker 1Oh, I love that.
Speaker 5With like a thingy racket, paddle board, ping pong.
Speaker 4Paddle board. Is that no?
Speaker 1Are we talking about ping pong? Is that ping?
Speaker 2pong, ping pong, table tennis on a paddle board, is it?
Speaker 1not called paddle Like a tennis, but it's like a thick thing, it's like rich people do it. Squash, squash, is it called squash? No Squash with a racket.
Speaker 4It's like you do it against the wall. Dean's Gate Squash. I feel like we're going so deep into what this is when they do the main thing.
Speaker 1I actually, and I you not know what paddle is. Am I pronouncing it wrong? What is it? What is it? Just tennis?
Speaker 4That's tennis. For wealthy people, that is tennis.
Speaker 2That's tennis. Is it just tennis? Yes, that's just tennis.
Speaker 1I swear paddle is like that. Look, I'm sorry everybody at home.
Speaker 4I of a show that you're watching right now because we've just we've wasted 10 minutes to find out, and tennis is a different thing because of the the thing, so she offers we've wasted 10
Speaker 2minutes to find out. Is the racket a little bit different?
Speaker 1yeah, the racket's a little bit different yeah, so tennis is the one with the okay paddle is the thick one.
Speaker 2Yeah, we'll go with that, that's fine, yeah we'll, we'll go. From what I can see, social media is not working for you in terms of you finding a man, because you got a guy I like and I like, and that's it.
Speaker 1That's the thing you say I'm finding, like I'm actively finding.
Speaker 2No, no, no. But what I'm trying to say is, even though you don't want to find a man right now that's going to be your life partner. You can find someone that's going to be a bit more interesting than you're finding on social media.
Speaker 1So, rather than go for people that aren't working at all, which is proven to you time and time and time and time and, time and time again, put yourself out there in a different experience, but you just want to go back to your family as of right now. I'm happy with I'm happy with my Well, I'm not happy with the sheets, but I'm happy with the fucked-ass diet, we meet you I'm not really a date me over socials girly.
Speaker 5I'm not gonna lie, I prefer, like obviously, you know, because I work in clubs I do bottle girl stuff. Like I have people come up to me that way or like if I'm out and about, people just approach me in the street and I think it's really cute. Like I was in starbucks once and I had a hot chocolate and you know how they put like the cardboard thing over it.
Speaker 5He put like his number on it and like gave it to me and I didn't realize until I got in the car you see, that's cute that's what, that's what you get when you're outside outside
Speaker 1I had a creepy one once you see you're going backwards.
Speaker 3You're going the wrong way. You're going the wrong way.
Speaker 1I had a going the wrong way I had a situation like that, but mine was creepy as fuck.
Speaker 1I was on the train and I had a duffel bag and I went to. I desperately needed a piss, which I don't do on the train usually, but I needed it. So I left my duffel bag and I'm such a loser. I put my name and my thing, like you know, in case you lose it. So I had my name, my email, my phone number on there, left it. I was like, end of the day, if it gets stolen, it's just clothes, clothes, have a mind, come back, sit down. And I get a whatsapp and he's like oh, you look stunning, whatever. And then it turns out I keep. I question him because I don't give my number at all. So I'm thinking, okay, who is this and where did you get my number? And he's like, oh, so you know, when you went to the bathroom and I was looking around thinking which one? And I was scared because I was like what if I get off the stop? And he's like that's giving very you.
Speaker 2That is, that's, that's yeah. Why didn't you just take it back?
Speaker 1because I was. I was like I just couldn't be asked like dragging a massive bag into the. I mean, I'll be honest when I was younger.
Speaker 3You know women did used to write their name on the buses, but it wasn't for those, for losing anything no, no anyway but yeah, moving on swiftly, moving on nicely yeah, scarily damn so so, as I say, yeah, meet people outside for you, you're an outsider, you're a social. You've learnt from two outsiders that life is better outside, okay, so I feel like the final thought on this is get your ass outside and go find people.
Speaker 2And we've told you this before.
Speaker 4We've told you this it's an energy thing as well.
Speaker 1You know when you're messaging for the DMs. It's not the same thing, yeah, and like someone might be calling over DMs.
Speaker 4We are not on the same vibe, yeah, but because you already got social energy.
Speaker 3You got social media energy. Have outside energy. It's different. It's nice breathe the oxygen people. It's different.
Speaker 1Yeah, not to say that I do, I'm not outside.
Speaker 3You're just not outside like that you know, social media people are very over opinionated you're over opinionated you always got something to say negative shit. Oh, I just had it on my mind so I got to say, like you could have just fought it, and that's it done.
Speaker 2Put on a piece of paper, burn it, burn it. See that bitch get rid. So I've got another question for you before I um do traditional gender roles still exist in modern relationships, and and should they?
Speaker 4I think they they should, based on my personal beliefs. I think they do still exist in certain people. I think they're a lot less common these days and they're not always.
Speaker 2Why do you think they're less common these days though?
Gender Roles and Relationships
Speaker 4I think because we live in a society where they push for feminine males, masculine females, independent women.
Speaker 3Basically, beyonce done her job, she did All the single ladies Beyonce, all the single ladies. Beyonce won, beyonce. We say all the time. I hear Beyonce, you're the baddest one. You're the baddest one because you told all the girl to leave the mandem while going to the mandem. It's crazy, that's crazy. She literally told you to leave him so I could get him. Now the pool's for me and y'all listened. Now you're all independent, doing your own shit. You know living life.
Speaker 4Some of y'all, Some of y'all. I'm independent, but it's like I don't want to be independent forever. I don't have a choice but to be independent right now, but I absolutely love the.
Speaker 4Being independent, no love the idea of traditional roles and that's what I seek after in a relationship. Like I've said before, there's a lot of things that I'm pursuing in my career that I'm pursuing because I can and because I do right now, but my main goal is having a family, coming home to a household full of love, finding, um, you know, a really strong man to build a future with. So, should that come up, I'd happily walk away from half of what I'm doing right now, because that's what makes me happy in the long run it's hard, though, because you got social media and people will leave you over.
Speaker 3Like, how can I get married to someone and then leave me over? I like it's a lot of money to lose yeah, it's a lot, and like you talk, you establish it, you talk like you can, you can talk
Speaker 4you can talk through so much like if you actually communicate properly with somebody, you don't realize how many times you're just having two different conversations or two different perspectives. When you have the ability to step out of your own like ego and perspective and not emotionally react and just see it from an outsider's point of view, you can really get through stuff with people Like I used to be really hot-headed and dismissive and, you know, not the greatest person to communicate with and as I've grown older it's like the the light bulb of everything.
Speaker 4Like you have to. You can cause, you can genuinely talk through nearly anything. Yeah, when you can understand the other person's point of view, of course you can understand it Patience. Yeah, patience what?
Speaker 2about yourself.
Speaker 5I don't know.
Speaker 1Cause.
Speaker 2I'm bisexual.
Speaker 5So if I date a guy, I'm bisexual. So if I date a guy like I want, like you know, a guy who will actually like provide for me, I'm like a little princess okay. But you know, if I date a girl I'm like the male. I'm like the more masculine one. I treat them like a princess. So I don't know. It's just like I've got daddy issues in it, so it's kind of okay okay, so you believe that it doesn't exist. Basically for what you're saying yeah, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 2I I'm not really like bothered about that stuff do you think there's a detriment on relationships not having a clear guidance and a clear barrier with that?
Speaker 5no, I just think it should be equal like so hold on who's who's stopping the intruder?
Speaker 3who's stopping the burglar in the middle of the night? Who's going downstairs with a baseball bat?
Speaker 4you know I always say this I feel sorry for guys like you. You got to take on that role Like you, ain't got no choice.
Speaker 3It's a man and a man.
Speaker 4Don't matter if you're scared, you've got to get up and fight, you're just going to look at me, so I'm going to look back now.
Speaker 3It's like, well, what are you looking at me for?
Speaker 2So you as the masculine female in the relationship you got on there and sort of in that moment
Speaker 5both of you are going down probably just hide, hide in the toilet and call the police. I'm not sure why, that's the smartest answer.
Speaker 1Why are we going?
Speaker 4downstairs guys, why does he have a baseball bat?
Speaker 3smartest answer I fucking heard for real, why does he have a baseball bat?
Speaker 1I don't know why. Does he have a baseball bat, men?
Speaker 3always. I'll tell you right now any real man has a weapon upstairs. That's blunt Yep Facts.
Speaker 1My man's got a weapon.
Speaker 2Tell me I'm lying. Tell me in the comments right now.
Speaker 3I've got Sally right there. Any man of the?
Speaker 4house, I would say I'm the man of the house right now. Oh shit.
Speaker 3So you got some blunt upstairs ready to go. No, I'm joking. Oh shit, dangerous, dangerous, nah, for real. Every man in the house has something blunt ready to go in the house. We know our jobs, we know our duties and we carry it well.
Speaker 5Y'all do your duties and we may stay with you long term and get married possibly, and you'll forget about likes I can't do any of them duties, though I'm so bad so you can't cook, you can't clean erm, I can clean, clean, I can clean-ish, but I can't cook for shit. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2But do you need to?
Speaker 5I tried to bake a cake once and I grilled it. It was raw on the side.
Speaker 2The thing is, sometimes you don't even need to do all that. Sometimes it's just about you being an actual nurturer in the home.
Speaker 5Yeah, a nurturer is a massive part of it.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, I know I'm like maternal are you? Yeah what makes you maternal, then what makes you maternal? Go on, tell me kids.
Speaker 5You know, I'm really good with kids, yeah. I'm the mother, you know. Oh, okay, ah she's the mother, the mother, you know. She sounds like a video vixen to me.
Speaker 3Yeah, I'll be honest, she's smoking like a real vixen the mother the hen you want to be okay, okay, okay fair enough? Nah, I think, yeah, go get a cookbook you want a good.
Speaker 5If you want a good man, nah, I get it and you know what?
Speaker 3alright, I say go get a cookbook. In this day and age you need to cook? Maybe not could get food these days, nowadays, take out all that, but you know, certain men prefer a woman that at least knows the skills like if it ever comes to a time when food needs to be provided. I feel like men feel more manly when their woman knows how to provide sausage and mash.
Speaker 5You can do that sausage and mash yeah, bang them in the oven bit of mash in the microwave it's so great you've got north innit that felt like an undercover brother moment that was wild, I feel like
Speaker 1we can even if you don't know how you can learn. No, but also don't think of it as like for a man, like obviously that will come at some point. But think of it like you know, it's actually so therapeutic to come home like put your PJs on, put a nice meal, do you? Know what I mean and then don't think about it as, like a man, you really grow to love this kind of things.
Speaker 1Like I don't know, I feel like, yeah, think as like a part of your self-care, like just make yourself a nice meal that you love. I mean, there is that.
Speaker 4I've made that.
Speaker 1There is your own nutrition.
Speaker 3And then obviously at Think about your kings too, that's what she's saying.
Speaker 4She's like learn to cook for yourself, enjoy yourself.
Speaker 1And if the time comes and you've got that skill but you don't learn it from them? Is that?
Speaker 3not how most people learn yeah.
Speaker 1Anyway, You've got to sustain yourself as an adult person. No, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no.
Speaker 3You don't have to learn from your mother. Have those skills growing up. You could just learn and put some sort of energy into just looking after your own nutrition.
Speaker 1That's all that you need to do. You just want to know what's for everybody. No, one's brought up mums or dads, like we just said.
Speaker 4I just said mums now, but just before that I said you can just learn, yeah, yeah, that's what I was like. You don't, like, you won't. No, you use it so much. Cooking like that is definitely a little bit more like not everyday.
Speaker 1Like it's not everyday pizza and like everyday, bash something in the oven Like it's more, like it's just knowing what's in your food.
Speaker 4So that's my big thing. I like everything from scratch because you look at like a jar of something, it's got like a million ingredients in. I'd rather just make the sauces, everything and I know exactly as well yeah, so much better when you know it's new food, it's, you can make it with love, then it makes a difference. You know what I'm saying nice trust made with.
Speaker 5If I was to cook something, I'd slave away cooking it.
Speaker 3I'd tire myself out, I'd not even be hungry anymore I wouldn't want to eat it you know what that is, because you already think of it as a chore. That's exactly why.
Speaker 4That's why you haven't really taken it. You've literally just told us what your issue is right there you just can't be on people
Speaker 3like this is just going to take too fucking long. I'm going to say put the stuff, put water in there no cleaning after is the worst.
Speaker 5I love cooking but cleaning after.
Speaker 1But you're rather clean yeah, I would honestly.
Speaker 5If I had like a guy he can cook, I'll wash the pots, that's fine okay, babe, I'll cook for you.
Speaker 4Some men love to cook as well some men do love to cook, so I don't think you like.
Speaker 3No, that is true, I love cooking, to be honest.
Speaker 2I did say, cooking isn't really a major thing, it's more about the nurturing.
Speaker 1Yeah, I know If someone can't be nurturing, then it's a game over and a lot of men love cooking too, so sometimes you'll end up like in a relationship where he just loves cooking and you're like okay, babe, I'll do you darling.
Speaker 3Yeah, I, and, to be honest, it's just because I know I do it better. It's true, I'm very arrogant like that when it comes to food.
Speaker 4I love me, that's what I'm like with rolling zoos. I never want to roll I never want to smoke someone else's because I'm like yours was alright to be fair, but I never like. Just because I'm like, I'm probably not going to like your roll.
Speaker 3I'm just being yeah as much as. That's why certain men will clean. Men, then, will go home and clean their house racks. They will clean down the place. There are women in the house.
Speaker 4I know guys that have a house and they're like OCD when they're cooking. They're proud of it. Yeah, yeah, I know, because it's raw it's just they just not Look I get it.
Speaker 3Yeah, I know you can see and shit. Nah, I need to do it properly.
Speaker 2you need to move everything everything needs to get moved yeah, some men just want to do stuff properly, so yeah, on that side of things.
Speaker 3I don't think it's always a woman's job to need to do it, but I feel like it's all it will always help a woman find a good man with them kind of mentalities. If you know those things, if you just know how to cook and things like that, not to whip up a look or something, because it's a nice benefit. Yeah, it does it does really impress and I feel like I don't care what a man will say. It does bring up certain brownie points, man feel more it's all about balance in it.
Speaker 1Like it'll depend on your family dynamic. Obviously, if you, if you're kind of like, if you're god-fearing, then I feel like you already have been set some roles in a way like, but, um, sometimes, like I feel like it all depends on, on the people. Like you're kind of, you'll end up being compatible with someone like, let's say, like you with a you're a man and you with a woman who's just a massive workaholic. So you might need to be a little bit more of the housewife sometimes. Like, as much as you want to be a masculine man or vice versa, do you get?
Speaker 2me, do you say housewife, house husband?
Speaker 3how do you think that dynamic's gonna work, though we don't have to say that these days it's like a house, house person, house, person, house person. So if you're an hp, yeah how's that dynamic going?
Speaker 2to work, because I feel if a man's a house person or they're doing that particular role, you're not going to take him seriously.
Speaker 1That's what Thingy says all the time. What's his name again? Me, willi or whatever. Yeah, he says it all the time like men kind of need that whatever.
Speaker 2No, but you're not going to take him seriously.
Speaker 1But what I'm trying to say? No, but I'm not saying me, I'm just saying certain dynamics, like you kind of find who you're compatible with, and I'm sure there's a man out there who kind of prefers taking those kind of reasons, unless the woman is a-. Again, not my like. Do you think cooking and cleaning makes you inferior? You're saying a dominatrix, you're saying like, oh, she won't take you seriously.
Speaker 5So what makes you think I never said cooking and cleaning?
Speaker 2Cooking and cleaning. No, I said nurturing. He did say nurturing.
Speaker 1I understand what you get, because even socially I said cooking and cleaning only because I didn't say that it's something that you need to have.
Speaker 3I said it's something that you need to have. I said it's just beneficial. It's like having a CV for a job and there's things on there. That's just like oh yeah, yeah, it's beneficial. You ain't quite got it.
Speaker 1But you know it helps. We get that. But I think, like, what I'm asking is why do you think that because shit, I need to leave now because you cook and clean, that makes you inferior. No, no, no. Like that makes the woman not take you seriously. No, no, cook and clean aside.
Speaker 2That's fine. What you need to understand is a woman will always go for someone who is provides them with security. If a man can't provide you with security, why is the man there in the first place?
Speaker 2if you're if you're going to treat him like a butler, then that's what you're going to treat him as a butler, you're going to see yourself as someone who's inferior, so then you're going to potentially go out and find someone else who's going to meet your needs and your requirements. That's what I mean. If a man cooks, cleans, protects and does all the stuff, you've got a 10 out of 10, man. That's what you've got.
Speaker 3If a man but then a man then will ask the question of what do I need you?
Speaker 2what I need you for and you'll probably step out, and you, I'm not saying you will, but that just leaves the door open for certain things.
Men, Emotions, and Relationships
Speaker 3His mentality does, then leave him open, because then all that does not to say it leaves him open, but it leaves the opportunity for a woman that will do those things to then show him what he's missing in a sense, because there is always a woman that is willing to do those roles and there's only so much looks can take.
Speaker 4Yeah, I think like a big part of it is like men carry like a lot of like emotional weight, like physical weight, pressure, like I look at my dad, say, and he carries the emotional weight of the whole household like and my mom and you know, and even like his mom. It's like when he, when it comes to the end of the day, who does my dad have to turn to cry on? And it's like the only person in the world is my mom. The only person he'll feel emotionally safe enough to open up or to be that person with is like my mom, like nobody else. And I feel like if you've got like a hard-working man um, that you know that plays his role right, you've got to be that emotional safe space that they can safely be vulnerable with.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah I feel like that comes in time.
Speaker 4That's not it's true, because then you can't be too but as a man, you can't be too vulnerable and emotional too soon, because it scares women yeah, like straight away, it's a, it's a, it's a building thing.
Speaker 3It's very hard at the same time because, as you just said, men carry that emotional weight all the time. So when you find that outlet, it's like oh yeah, you just want to breathe.
Speaker 2Yeah, I want to take it off take it off me, it's like a heavy and I love, being that for a man like yeah, but you can your man be that with you yeah, and it should be.
Speaker 4Do you think? Do you think you could? No, I feel like, yeah, I think, I think you just, said it like she would provide it.
Speaker 2I think you're an exception to the rule, but I think nine times out of ten, with a lot of females when they see their their men men cry or be very emotional. This is what I'm saying, you say it, you say it.
Speaker 4One time yeah this is what.
Speaker 2I'm saying when you, when you deal with a man and you start dating and they're really emotional too soon.
Speaker 4And when I say they just like, I say like they act like girls, like too and yeah, and I and that's you see how quickly that changed.
Speaker 4No, listen, this is this is what I'm on about. When it's like too soon and a man doesn't have that control and doesn't have that. What I'm saying is when you build that opening up and like it's really beautiful, when it does happen, when because you don't always get to see that side to a man and I feel like you know you're doing some sort of a good job, when you get to that point in a relationship where a man can be that with you, trust you to for him to open up that vulnerability.
Speaker 3Because, other than that, we have to show us that you don't like, and I know that even my friends like you'd be.
Speaker 4Although guys will have each other, there's always a certain level that I feel like you just won't take to your boy like yeah, but also like, for years and years and years, we taught that women are emotional, men are logical, women are emotional, men are logical.
Speaker 1so you kind of think of that. So if you, you, you find a man that's way too emotional right away, it can be very like she said. But if, if I am someone's long-term partner, I want him to to open up with me emotionally of course, because, again, at the end of the day, who is he going to go and cry to at the end of the day? So do you? I mean, it's not going to be off-putting if we have gotten to a point where, um, you know you trust me and whatever, like, if anything, it's a big up, like, listen, like you, you are understanding your emotional emotions, you understand your emotional needs, you are being emotionally intelligent and I love that for you. But if, right away, everyone, like this guy's dumping his emotions on you, it's a bit like yeah, that's not what I signed up to, but I need to go.
Speaker 2Yeah, we're wrapping.
Speaker 3We're literally going to wrap up this is it now right?
Speaker 1Yeah, it's been good. It's. It's been a good show. It's been a good show. That was so quick with yourself.
Speaker 2I would say how did you enjoy the show and give your socials?
Speaker 5yeah, it was good. Thanks for having me, guys. So my Instagram is oh my god, I'm trying to think at underscore C-H-I-A-R-A, c-h-i-a-r-a, c-h-i-a-r-x.
Speaker 3Uh-huh, can't get it wrong. Thank you, can't get that wrong. People In the middle.
Speaker 1Yeah, it was cool. Season, two weeks or whatever. Yeah, S, yeah, Instagram S-O-F-Y-A dot. Two, two, two, two, two. So Sophia with an F and a Y two, two, two, two.
Speaker 5Brilliant, thank you.
Speaker 2Triple two.
Speaker 4I thought it went well. I had a great time. Thank you, everybody. My socials are missink, m-i-s-s-i-n-k. Number 7 for Instagram and 7missink on TikTok thank you, brilliant alright guys, that is it.
Speaker 3That is it so, ref, I don't know what you guys need to do, yeah so if you've been watching the show for this long and you haven't liked, then I'm not going to be nice. Like Lee, I will find you. Yeah, make sure you like. Make sure you subscribe Right. Been watching long enough now. You love the show. It's been a great show. We've had great guests on. Thank you for the guests, thank you for y'all watching at home. Peace out. Don't forget the not forgets bro. Peace.
